I never really fit into any specific box, I had friends in all groups but only had a couple of close friends and vast interests that could make your head spin. I was referred to as being “special” (both in a genuine sense and a sarcastic manner), and still working on accepting all that is me. In many ways, I enjoyed being different, but I would be lying if I were to tell you that I always embraced it. For example, in college, I had the genius idea to try to get into a sorority. It was a weeklong process of being interviewed and tested to see where you fit in. This turned out to be a terrible idea for me because ultimately the sorority that “chose” me was not even a close reflection to who I was. Even my roommates who were randomly placed with me and barely knew me commented that they did not seem like people that they could see me hanging around. Some people took the sorority thing super seriously and made great connections- I did not have that experience. During that week I remember talking to people and embellishing who I was trying to impress them and ultimately it just turned out to be super uncomfortable. I believe they saw through my lack of confidence in my authentic self that week. It was, however, for sure, a blatant experience of rejection.
Although this is an example of a specific event in my life, I am confident that there are others out there who have embellished or pretended to be someone else to gain acceptance. Was their acceptance worth the act of unauthenticity? Was there a cost- what was it? For me, no; it was not worth it. It cost me over $1,000 for the sorority membership along with other random costs and left me confused about my authentic self because I got lost in trying to make connections with this group of people who the whole rush process decided I “most fit in with”.
This was probably an insignificant experience in comparison to what others may have experienced with being defined by others around us and/or people who barely know us. What is the greatest cost of not being 100% your authentic self? We have to live with our mind and heart at the end of the day, every day. So, is it worth listening to what others define us as the ultimate say to who we are?
Experiencing a sense of connection in life is imperative. Us humans have a built-in need for connection. However, an authentic connection cannot happen if you are not your authentic self. We are on this earth for a purpose (although sometimes it may not feel like that) it may not a be purpose that results in fame, fortune, or notoriety; but it is still a purpose that only you can fulfill. Remember that your life matters.
